Why You Should Write Your Own Obituary (2024)

If your obituary was written today, what would it say?

That’s actually something you have complete control over, since writing your own obituary is one of the best ways to celebrate life and leave one last message to the world.

Most people hire writers to tackle their obituary. While there’s nothing wrong with this, there’s something far more impactful about telling your story in your own voice. There are a few great reasons to take this on, and you’ll be glad that you did.

To get some more perspective on why writing your own obituary is the way to go, read on.

You can tell your loved ones exactly how you feel

Typically when a person passes away, their family helps the obituary writer by sharing important information about their deceased loved one’s life.

What if you could go the other route and tell your own story?

By writing your own obituary, you include any details about your own life that you see fit, in addition to sharing some heartfelt messages with your family. For instance, you can tell the story of how you met your spouse and let them know in your own words how sharing the journey of life with them was your greatest joy.

You can tell your kids how they lit up your life when they were born, in addition to imparting some gems for them to take with them in their own lives.

This is also an excellent opportunity to share your life philosophy and explain to the public how you chose to live and what thoughts you’d like to leave them.

Above all, writing your own obituary can take on any tone you’d like, and you can feel free to touch on anything your heart desires.

It Gives You The Chance To Put Life In Perspective

Writing your obituary can be therapeutic and provide some perspective on life as a whole.

Let’s face it -- most of us live day to day without giving the idea of our own death more than a passing thought.

We’re so caught up in day-to-day life, and often are too fearful to dwell on the subject for more than a moment. However, taking the time to write your own obituary provides a beautiful opportunity to make peace with death and recognize that it’s just a natural part of life.

As you spill out your thoughts and feelings into the obituary, it can relieve some of the anxiety around the subject. Ironically, making peace with death frees you to live your life to the fullest.

You’ll Have Greater Clarity Writing It Far In Advance

None of us have the foresight to know the exact day or moment that we’ll pass away. As a result, there’s no guarantee if you’ll be in a position to write your own obituary as well as you’d like due to health issues, old age or other circ*mstances.

By taking the opportunity to do it now, you can guarantee that you’re putting forth your best efforts and can make the obituary say exactly what you want it to.

Writing it yourself and in advance ensures that you’ll get all of the important details and express yourself with flair.

So go ahead and start working on a draft of your obituary. Doing so is a golden opportunity to make a lasting impression on your family, while sharing your story with the world.

Why You Should Write Your Own Obituary (2024)

FAQs

Why should you write your own obituary? ›

Finally, writing your own obituary may actually inspire you to live more fully. Seeing your life story and accomplishments in black and white can serve as inspiration to do those things you've been putting off, whether that means careers goals, personal development, or traveling to another country.

What does it mean when someone writes their own obituary? ›

If you are completing end-of-life plans for yourself, writing your own obituary in advance means you can decide exactly what it says. It also means your family won't have to think about it. You can write the most important aspects of your life that you want people to remember.

Is it morbid to write your own obituary? ›

Plus, it is a very kind gift to your loved ones, who in their hours of grief, are bound to have a difficult time trying to write a piece they deem worthy. Writing your own obituary is not a harbinger of bad things to come.

Do most people write their own obituary? ›

Most people hire writers to tackle their obituary. While there's nothing wrong with this, there's something far more impactful about telling your story in your own voice. There are a few great reasons to take this on, and you'll be glad that you did.

Is it disrespectful not to have an obituary? ›

Posting an obituary is not a legal requirement and is a sentimental action. Families don't have to publish one if they don't want it or do not have the funds to do so. While you do not have to share a death note or obituary, you must file a death certificate with your state's office.

Is it OK to not write an obituary? ›

Obituaries are not required by law , so the deceased's family might have chosen to forego publishing one. Publishing an obituary can be expensive , and the funds may be unavailable.

How long after death do you write an obituary? ›

Typically, obituaries are published as soon as possible following someone's death. An ideal timeline is the week following the passing.

How personal should an obituary be? ›

Make it personal

To write a great obituary, it's important to capture the spirit of the loved one who has passed. Compose a paragraph that describes not only what your loved one did, but also what your loved one was like. For example, focus on hobbies, passions, and personal characteristics.

How to write your own obituary example? ›

Obituary Example 1:

Our beloved [full name] tragically left us on [date of death]. Loved and missed by [list of family members]. [First name]'s passion for [hobbies/interests] touched all who knew them. Contributions to [charity], a cause close to their heart, are appreciated.”

What should be avoided in an obituary? ›

Common Mistakes to Avoid when Writing an Obituary
  • Avoid Making the Obituary About You. ...
  • Don't Focus Just on Death. ...
  • Listing People Who Were Appreciated. ...
  • Avoid Clichés. ...
  • Abbreviations. ...
  • Don't Over Describe the Funeral.

What should I exclude from an obituary? ›

Obituaries should not be written in the first person. This means you should not use "I" language. Remember that an obituary is not a personal tribute, like a sympathy card or condolence letter. You should also exclude personal addresses and phone numbers.

Can you be sued for writing about a dead person? ›

Under common law and according to the definition of this defamation, deceased individuals cannot be defamed. Defamation is defined as an act or statement that damages one's reputation. The dead do not have reputations to damage.

What kind of person writes their own obituary? ›

Someone who wants to have the last word even in death. Someone who knows who they are, the lives they led, the choices they made and how those choices impacted their generation. It's basically someone who wants to tell their own story and get real and raw about it in ways only they can.

What is the meaning of self obituary? ›

Obituary to Self allows you to reflect on your life, with the reminder that life really belongs to the ultimate certainty that is death. It is not meant prescriptive in any way. It does not replace any form of therapy. This form of reflection is an invitation to discovering oneself.

Do people get paid to write obituaries? ›

But, chances are, if you're considered the scribe in your tribe of family members and friends, at some juncture, you'll be asked to pen an obituary for someone you know. And, though it doesn't offer the same glitz, glamour, or excitement of other forms of creative work, well, it helps to pay the bills.

Why is it important to have an obituary? ›

Obituaries are important because they connect us to our history, allow us to pay our respects for our loved ones, and help us honor these remarkable lives.

What to avoid when writing an obituary? ›

Common Mistakes to Avoid when Writing an Obituary
  • Avoid Making the Obituary About You. ...
  • Don't Focus Just on Death. ...
  • Listing People Who Were Appreciated. ...
  • Avoid Clichés. ...
  • Abbreviations. ...
  • Don't Over Describe the Funeral.

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